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I'm sorry to notify you...

Now here is a letter that took some effort! Sent to my friend Jim Keating, by Edward Ego, this letter notified him that his long lost relative, Mr. Williams Keating, was recently killed in a car accident in Nigeria and, you guessed it, there is no will and no heir. Fortunately for Jim, Mr. Ego looked up the highly unusual name of "Keating" on the Internet and found the one person that *must* be related to Williams Keating. Now, Jim need only claim his $4.5 million as the rightful heir!

Grade: A-
Comments: This letter definitely gets an "A" for effort. Some editing would be helpful, though. And, will someone explain to me why Nigerian accounting officers have so much difficulty with punctuation!

Dear Keating,

I am Mr Edward Ego [come on, is your name *really* Ego?] , the personal accounting officer to Mr Williams Keating,a national of your country, who used to work with shell [you mean..., like a shell game?] development company in Nigeria. Here in after shall be referred to as my client.

On the 21st of April 1999, my client, his wife And their three children were involved in a car accident along sagbama express road [You know, I've been complaining about the accident rate on the Sagbama Express Road for years now, but will they put up a stop sign -- no!]. All occupants of the vehicle unfortunately lost there lives. Since then I have made several enquiries to your embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives this has also proved unsuccessful.

After these several unsuccessful attempts, I decided to trace his surname over the Internet, to locate any member of his family hence I contacted you. I have contacted you to assist in repartrating the money and property left behind by my client before they get confisicated or declared unserviceable by the bank where this huge deposits were lodged.

Particularly,the Horse Bank [now, does this refer to the customers or the deposits?] plc where the deceased had an account valued at about 4.5million dollars has issued me a notice as his accounting officer to provide the next of kin or have the account confisicated within the next ten official working days [10 Days? Wow, the Horse Bank moves fast!].

since i have been unsuccesfull in locating the relatives for over 2 years now i seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you have the same surname so that the proceeds of this account valued at 4.5million dollars can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money [Oh, I get it, you don't *really* think Jim is related to Williams].

I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to back up any claim we may make. All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us see this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you from any breach of the law.

Thanks and God Bless

Best Regards.

Mr Edward Ego [Now, do you really think I would do business with someone named Ego???].