Forgive my indignation?

Here is a not untypical letter containing the usual plot complications -- a dead family member, a large sum of money to get out of the country, and a religious overtone. Oh yeah, and really bad English.

Grade: B

Comments: It is pretty typical but Aminatu, "wife to Dr. Mupesa" does manage to include a bit more color than is usually found in these letters. I also have to commend Aminatu on the obvious time she put into this letter. Little details like making sure that the email address actually matched her name really helped boost her grade.

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Good Day My Good Friend,
Forgive my indignation [huh?] if this message comes to you as a surprise and may offend your personality for contacting you without your prior consent and writing through this channel, I got your name from the Internet database [now, *that's* a run-on sentence!].

Though I was divinely inspired to pick your name among other names found in the database, after series of prayers/fasting. I was divinely directed to contact you, I believe that God has a way of helping someone in a problem and nobody on earth could ever stop him from carrying out his infinite interventions, I strongly believed that every problem has a divine solution [so, you're saying that you picked me because you were hungry and God told you to?].

In a brief introduction, I am Mrs. Aminatu Mupesa, wife to Dr. Mupesa of Chiweshe ward in Muzarabani, Mashona land Central province, who was allegedly killed in a cold blood on 5th April 2001 by alleged Zanu PF militias and war veterans for supporting the (Mr. Morgan Tsvangirai) Movement for Democratic Change, an opposition party to the tyranny government of President Mugabe [President Mugabe must be a really bad guy -- he shows up all the time in my email!].

As the tension climaxed, we were able to escape to a nearby farm with my five little children [including kids in the story is always a nice touch] including my husband's brother: Mr. Kenssy Mupesa. We were there until the tension gets down before we decided to move down to Johannesburg.

Before my husband's death as if he knows it, he handed over to me all the documents covering some huge amount of money he deposited with a private security company here in Johannesburg, personal effect in disguise amounting to $17.7 Million, {SEVENTEEN MILLION SEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS}.

I have decided to leave my country due to threats on my life and my family by Mugabe's government agents, I want you to assist me in arranging with the security company here in Johannesburg to move this fund out of Africa for my life time investment with you in your country and for my children's upbringing [well, I guess that as long as it is for your kids, it'll be ok].

I contacted you on the following agreement; (1). To keep this transaction as confidential as it deserves, due to my position as a widower.
(2). To assist me invest my share of the fund into a lucrative business venture as I have little or no knowledge on where to invest this huge sum of money. (3). To assist me and my children to travel down to your country immediately this fund is out to where you wish for the sharing of the fund according to the agreed percentages and to invest my own share in any lucrative business of your choice.
(4). To present yourself as the bona fide owner of the fund so that there will be no trace of the movement of the fund From Africa as all the arrangements to make the changing of the ownership with the security company has been perfected.
(5). You would be transparent, honesty and diligence with me, and will not be greed to divulge from the original percentage offered to you thereby requesting for increase which might lead to trying to sit on the whole funds once it gets under your custody, or you try to blackmail me so you can take all the money alone [blackmail? hmmm, she must have *something* to hide -- I wonder if she's really a man? Or, maybe she's got something going with her husband's brother -- well, she is staying at the farm with him].
(6). Your percentage for your assistance will be 30% while 65% will be for me and my family and 5% will be set aside to defray any expenses that all concerned may encounter on the process of realizing this fund.
This transaction is 100% risk free, but need utmost secrecy and confidentiality due to the entire family position in my Country right now. If you are interested to assist me. Please respond immediately on the receipt of this mail, through {hajia_aminmupesa@africamail.com} [hey, nice touch -- the email address actually matches the signature!], for more detailed information's.
God Bless You As You Assist Me.
Yours Sincerely
Hajia. Aminatu Mupesa