Misdirected email...

I have got to admit that with the new year there have been some refreshing improvements to some of the stale old letters I have received in the past. Not only has there been a geographic shift away from Nigeria (gee, maybe they figured out that we are on to them) but I have seen some truly creative efforts.

Comments: This latest entry is really quite a departure from previous efforts. In this case, I have received an email apparently intended for someone else who is to receive $950,000 for his or her failed attempt at a shady international money transfer. All I have to do is to contact this guy's personal secretary and give him my contact information and ask for the funds to be transferred, and I will suddenly be $950,000 richer! It is still not very conceivable as scenarios go but I have to admit that I do like the idea. My philosophy is that if the scenario described in the email could conceivably be a movie plot, it has some potential. I think I could see a variation of this as a movie plot. Now, who should contact to send my treatment to -- Speilberg or Lucas?

Grade: "A"

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Attn:Dear Beloved Friend,

I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting the fund transferred to a Swiss Account with the cooperation of a new partner from London who is an international business man. Presently I'm in London for investment projects with my own share of the total sum, here is my cell phone number : +447024071055 [Wow, he left his cell phone number -- nice touch! If I wasn't too cheap to run up the phone bill, I would dial it to see who answers] . Meanwhile, I did not forget your past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite the fact that it failed us some how. Now contact my secretary, his contact is:

Name: Mr.Collins Eze

Email: collins_eze03@myway.com
Direct Tel: +22993476753

Ask him to send to you the total $950.000.00 (Nine Hundred and Fifty Thousand US Dollars) which I kept for your compensation for all the past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter [so, you're saying that even though I or whoever this is for, failed you still are going to pay $950,000?]. I appreciated your efforts at that time very much, so feel free and get in touch with my secretary Mr.Collins Eze and instruct him where to send the amount to you. Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferness at that time [sufferness?]. In the moment, I am very busy here because of the investment projects which I and the new partner are having at hand [Hey, if I'm getting $950,000, I wonder how much the new partner is getting!? I'm thinking maybeI deserve more for my "past efforts and attempts to assist" even if I did fail.].

Finally, remember and dont fail to contact my secretary because I had forwarded instruction to him on your behalf to receive that money, so get in touch with him and he will send the amount to you without any delay [Here's the inconceivable part. Now, doesn't it stand to reason that the secretary would already know the name of the person about to contact them asking for almost $1 million?].

Your share of the money with best regards

Your Beloved in christ, [I always like when they throw in the religious reference to sound more trustworthy]
DR FRED MORGAN [There sure are a lot of doctors running banks in these emails]
a banker ["a banker"? Is that the best you could come up with for a title???]